I wonder is it easier to love someone than to be loved? Why do we so easily lose someone...than to tell them they're loved
I wonder is it easier to hold hands when you can, than realize that the hands aren't around to be held anymore.
Is it easier to let go than watch someone you love suffer? I wonder...
Loving and losing don't get much easier with age or time.
Does life stop with the beating of the heart? or when memories no longer linger...
Does loss ever get easier to bear? Do you ever stop missing someone?
Do we forget the smells, the loving touch, that hug, that comfort...or does it stay forever
What is forever...i wonder.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Rains are back with a bang.
Pouring rain has hit us again. Instead of a nice slow start this year its back with a bang. Pouring away for the last 3 days now. It caught me in the middle of our annual water proofing of the roof.
So now its no water in the balcony but mini-lake in the living room. Am keeping the mop handy as usual. Had the workers doing plastering in the house yesterday. Incredibly messy it is. With cement all over the place. We have so many things in the house that removing them takes ages. Finally they finished after almost 12 hrs at 9pm. Then the clean up etc had mom & me working till almost 10pm.
Got a nasty shock on friday nite. Collected mom's report and took to doc. He looked very worried on seeing the reports. Apparently mom has a very nasty bug which causes infections in diabetics & senior citizens with lowered immunity. Problem is drugs to treat it are very bad ones which cause more harm than good. Hospitalization was mentioned as they are all intravenous. He asked me to meet a urologist to decide next steps. Met him on friday nite itself. More tests are in the pipeline. I ended up outside the doc's wondering how do i tell mom this with tears in my eyes. Was composed by the time i got home & sat and told mom and Sachin about the test results. Mom isn't feeling sick and so is reluctant of course to be hostpitalized but its always infections like these that are more dangerous as it gives false information to the body and cloaks the infection and toxins cleverly. Read up some papers on it & now am more worried.
This has been a bad ending to the week. To add to my list of woes mouse comes home with his face all swollen, right eye swollen shut, face all full of cuts, ear bloody. Was sleeping quietly in chair in the passage when I saw him in the morning. He looked so bad that I almost called the vet in a panic.
Cleaned him up & have put medicines on his wounds. Am taking him to vet tomorrow to rule out any sepsis of wounds etc. I hope the rains keep him at home more nights and so he stays safe and away from other fighting tom cats. Its not nice to be a tom cat, ur always in a fight...wether you want to be or not...someone is always challenging you. Seems to be out of a wild west western where the best gunslingers always had someone younger trying to outdo them.
So now its no water in the balcony but mini-lake in the living room. Am keeping the mop handy as usual. Had the workers doing plastering in the house yesterday. Incredibly messy it is. With cement all over the place. We have so many things in the house that removing them takes ages. Finally they finished after almost 12 hrs at 9pm. Then the clean up etc had mom & me working till almost 10pm.
Got a nasty shock on friday nite. Collected mom's report and took to doc. He looked very worried on seeing the reports. Apparently mom has a very nasty bug which causes infections in diabetics & senior citizens with lowered immunity. Problem is drugs to treat it are very bad ones which cause more harm than good. Hospitalization was mentioned as they are all intravenous. He asked me to meet a urologist to decide next steps. Met him on friday nite itself. More tests are in the pipeline. I ended up outside the doc's wondering how do i tell mom this with tears in my eyes. Was composed by the time i got home & sat and told mom and Sachin about the test results. Mom isn't feeling sick and so is reluctant of course to be hostpitalized but its always infections like these that are more dangerous as it gives false information to the body and cloaks the infection and toxins cleverly. Read up some papers on it & now am more worried.
This has been a bad ending to the week. To add to my list of woes mouse comes home with his face all swollen, right eye swollen shut, face all full of cuts, ear bloody. Was sleeping quietly in chair in the passage when I saw him in the morning. He looked so bad that I almost called the vet in a panic.
Cleaned him up & have put medicines on his wounds. Am taking him to vet tomorrow to rule out any sepsis of wounds etc. I hope the rains keep him at home more nights and so he stays safe and away from other fighting tom cats. Its not nice to be a tom cat, ur always in a fight...wether you want to be or not...someone is always challenging you. Seems to be out of a wild west western where the best gunslingers always had someone younger trying to outdo them.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Catassertiveness
Am facing that everyday from the darlings. I will do what i want is basically the moto. Pinks has also decided to be catassertive from now; if that means spending all night outside the house... so be it. I just has to deal with it. (which I'm doing by saying to myself...its a phase...soon it will rain & it'll be too wet for her to do that)
I don't even know what brought this on. I wish i did. How did my meekest cat suddenly become different? Nowadays i meet her downstairs when i return from work, madam is heading out for the umpteenth time that day to do what (god alone knows) She of course has sachin wrapped around her tiniest little claw; he lets her go out in the middle of the night too. Home has become a place for meals & naps. Madam looks at me indignantly if i tell her sorry Pinks its 4 am i am not opening the door for u. Sleep it off till 6.
In case someone is wondering (what the hell is she doing at 4am?) ...am sleep walking to the kitchen to feed tangy who decides 4am is nice time for a snack. I get I am hungry meows in my ears & if that doesn't work, elbow nibbles always wake me up.
I have actually perfected the art of feeding them without actually waking up (cause that spells disaster for me, cant sleep once i'm fully awake and then am cranky the next day too)
One thing I fail to understand is how all 4 feel hungry at the same time. No matter what time of the night it is, midnight snacks has a full house with all 4 heads eating out of bowls.
Which reminds me of a funny thing when tangy & girlie were kittens. Both the twins used to visit the litter tray at the same time...and i mean the exact same time. It wasn't like one headed towards the tray & the other one followed. They both used to go together. I always wondered do human kids (twins i mean) do that too? and how does that work?
I don't even know what brought this on. I wish i did. How did my meekest cat suddenly become different? Nowadays i meet her downstairs when i return from work, madam is heading out for the umpteenth time that day to do what (god alone knows) She of course has sachin wrapped around her tiniest little claw; he lets her go out in the middle of the night too. Home has become a place for meals & naps. Madam looks at me indignantly if i tell her sorry Pinks its 4 am i am not opening the door for u. Sleep it off till 6.
In case someone is wondering (what the hell is she doing at 4am?) ...am sleep walking to the kitchen to feed tangy who decides 4am is nice time for a snack. I get I am hungry meows in my ears & if that doesn't work, elbow nibbles always wake me up.
I have actually perfected the art of feeding them without actually waking up (cause that spells disaster for me, cant sleep once i'm fully awake and then am cranky the next day too)
One thing I fail to understand is how all 4 feel hungry at the same time. No matter what time of the night it is, midnight snacks has a full house with all 4 heads eating out of bowls.
Which reminds me of a funny thing when tangy & girlie were kittens. Both the twins used to visit the litter tray at the same time...and i mean the exact same time. It wasn't like one headed towards the tray & the other one followed. They both used to go together. I always wondered do human kids (twins i mean) do that too? and how does that work?
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Getting things done at last.
Life is ceasing to be a list of things to do, but things that are done...yay. (Those of you who are not gardeners can skip this entire post)
Got all these things done yesterday:
Update on this:
Didn't get the extra soil (postponed to next sat for now), went for lunch with friends instead. Much more fun. Was catching up on some pending work & had plans to cancel lunch when Harish calls with message of come downstairs we are picking u up. Had no excuses for that! Am glad i did go. Met everyone after what seemed like ages. Sheece i did meet after eons.
Had a nice lunch at Mondy's. Dessert at theo's. Were planning on attending the Kaifi Azmi play but it was housefull so ended up sitting at home & posting. (Still doing that infact hence this update)
Mouse & I had a reunion. He gave me uh-oh she's home early looks....cldnt run away in time. Paw looks better to me. He's putting weight on it & not limping so is definitely better. Looks less raw than yday. He let me put cream on it.
Got all these things done yesterday:
- Potted the shoeflower finally in the giant pot. It weighs about a ton now with all the additional soil, but has loads of room to grow. I expect a nice happy plant for years to come.
- Got some more shoeflowers (different colors) yday from the gardening supply place at dadar. That place is like being in a chocolate store for me, everytime i go there i am tempted into picking up plants. Be strong, resist is the thought when leaving house. But succumb i do...everytime...how can i be so fickle :D Anyways got a nice combo of yellow, pink, red and white shoeflowers around the house now...should look great when all are blooming.
- Got a chilli plant with 3 bright red chillies on it, only to discover the chillies on the floor & my plant destroyed when I got home last nite (Jerry am going to kill u was the thought) Don't worry Jerry is still very much alive...mouse & i had a heart to heart conversation this morning (after which he has run away from home) where newly potted plants are not to be used as scratching posts was discussed with him.
He just looked impatient & wanted to run off as his paw (which is injured & the reason he is avoiding me for last 2 days) was also discussed. Explained to him that he either let me put some cream on the wound or else its a few days at the not so nice hospital till the paw heals if it gets worse. Mouse is smart; am sure he'll choose me over the hospital. - Getting someone over to water proof the roof this week. Got the people in yday to check the roof and explained where to water proof.
- Got the cat soil for the rains. Am getting some more today as I ended up using most of it yday while potting some of the plants. (Strong boyfriend requirement is still open...realized that yday when I had to carry the damn soil bags weighing a lot up 2 staircases) It was rather funny...the gardening store guy generally puts the bags in a cab for me...yday he had 6 soil bags (each of about 3-4 kgs each) in one huge bag which was so heavy i couldnt even budge it when i tried to shift the damn thing. So asked him to remove 2 bags after which it was super heavy...but cld carry with both hands. Got a nice taxi driver who offered to remove the heavy bags from taxi for me. But i refused the offer, have to carry them upstairs anyway was thought. Almost gave myself a heart attack yday...they were so heavy. (have to do that again today...will be less heroic & carry only 2 bags each time is POA)
- Vacuumed the sofa cum bed...at last. That thing is so huge & so much to do. Its the grills etc today then am all ready for monsoons.
Update on this:
Didn't get the extra soil (postponed to next sat for now), went for lunch with friends instead. Much more fun. Was catching up on some pending work & had plans to cancel lunch when Harish calls with message of come downstairs we are picking u up. Had no excuses for that! Am glad i did go. Met everyone after what seemed like ages. Sheece i did meet after eons.
Had a nice lunch at Mondy's. Dessert at theo's. Were planning on attending the Kaifi Azmi play but it was housefull so ended up sitting at home & posting. (Still doing that infact hence this update)
Mouse & I had a reunion. He gave me uh-oh she's home early looks....cldnt run away in time. Paw looks better to me. He's putting weight on it & not limping so is definitely better. Looks less raw than yday. He let me put cream on it.
Update on Vaccination Day!
The cat god (or goddess as boy informed me) wasn't pleased with me at all last monday. Vaccination day was not a smooth affair. No amount of planning can be done with someone as unpredictable as a cat is my final thought.
K came over as planned. We picked up Jerry and Girlie in round one as Pinks ran onto the cupboard. Had to wait a bit at the vet as he had a very cute lab puppy "Sunshine" which he was examining. So cats were kept on chairs & away from the doggy nose.
Both howled in protest in the cab (as was expected) & jerry gave K a few scratches on his wrist and a few holes in his shirt. Round one went fairly okay. Returned home & saw that pinks had decided the cupboard was place of refuge for her. K climbed up & picked her up. Madam protested away to no avail. And usually docile Tangy became a tiger. I easily picked him up & placed in the basket to have him go wild on me. He became very nervous and agitated, frothing at the mouth and clawing his way out of the basket. Pushed his nose against the lid to lift it so many times that it became bloody.
K had pinks all safely in the basket and I was struggling with Tangy. Finally i got scared that he'd do some major damage to himself. His nose was bleeding a bit from all that pushing against the basket top. I let him out & let him relax a bit.
After about 10 mins he was ok. Still a bit frazzled, but not agitated. Then picked him up & put in another basket. Poor K got a few more scratches from Tangy at the vets. So it was betadine on his wrists, and this years vaccination is all done.........phew!!!
K came over as planned. We picked up Jerry and Girlie in round one as Pinks ran onto the cupboard. Had to wait a bit at the vet as he had a very cute lab puppy "Sunshine" which he was examining. So cats were kept on chairs & away from the doggy nose.
Both howled in protest in the cab (as was expected) & jerry gave K a few scratches on his wrist and a few holes in his shirt. Round one went fairly okay. Returned home & saw that pinks had decided the cupboard was place of refuge for her. K climbed up & picked her up. Madam protested away to no avail. And usually docile Tangy became a tiger. I easily picked him up & placed in the basket to have him go wild on me. He became very nervous and agitated, frothing at the mouth and clawing his way out of the basket. Pushed his nose against the lid to lift it so many times that it became bloody.
K had pinks all safely in the basket and I was struggling with Tangy. Finally i got scared that he'd do some major damage to himself. His nose was bleeding a bit from all that pushing against the basket top. I let him out & let him relax a bit.
After about 10 mins he was ok. Still a bit frazzled, but not agitated. Then picked him up & put in another basket. Poor K got a few more scratches from Tangy at the vets. So it was betadine on his wrists, and this years vaccination is all done.........phew!!!
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