The whole of last week my life has been dominated by of all things mos (microorganisms) of unknown origin. Mos of course play a major part in our lives every time we fall sick; you can bet its one of the little guys I have spent a few hundred hours of my life observing thru a microscope.
This time they have decided to take up temporary residence with me. At least i hope they don't love me so much that it becomes permanent. I am so ready to boot these squatters cause they have played havoc with my system & continue to do so as I write this.
I have been feeling and sounding like one of those characters in movies who has TB. A bad hacking cough that just leaves me tired. Antibiotics and medicines have left me feeling sicker. I was actually nauseous for 2 days and could hardly eat; after effects of the strong antibiotics no doubt.
Bit funny that was; I was taking Mox to get rid of the mos.
Sheece actually suggested it might be TB which of course had me googling away for everything I could find on the disease. Have handled the damn mos ages ago & wondered does it take that long for one to get it...course not that is too long a latent period was my conclusion!
I can actually feel the cough has reduced. Everyone i met in the last week has advised me about umpteen things to try from ayurvedic to allopathic drugs. Me I'm blissfully drug free for the last few days.
Listened to Jay Thakkar playing his flute after what seemed like ages yesterday. I don't understand the ragas which he plays...but sometimes I don't think one has to know the technicalities of what you see or hear to appreciate something. Me I just love the way his flute can actually make you feel the music when he is playing. The passion for music is overwhelming in his performances.
As usual I felt immensely refreshed after attending his performance.
He's planned weekly performances in May. I hope I can attend most of them.
Been thinking that life is indeed too short to keep postponing things one wants to do. A call to action is what is needed. But what to do if one is too lazy to take that call. What is interesting is how we react to different situations, usually for me when it comes to work I prefer to do things now rather than later.
Maybe it is also to do with ones vulnerabilities. Somehow one is always more vulnerable to being hurt when its a personal situation. I think instinctively one protects oneself as much as one can.
When my mom was being operated on in Nov, I remember feeling so scared. Yet being unable to say so to my brother for fear that he was probably just as scared as me of losing her. It was just a cataract operation and yet I could see so many things going wrong.
I do think that I feel I am much tougher than I really am. We are seldom tested and its at precisely those times that one realizes how much it hurts. When you are fighting back the tears, when your voice is not quite as steady as it should be, when someone asks if you're ok and you usually lie & say you're fine.
Those are the times when I usually find myself thinking...I can get through this.
