Missing

Fathers Day I am sure was invented with all good intentions at heart. But it hits all of those who either have no parents or have lost a parent. Returning home this fathers day from Neha's lunch i saw this father & daughter (around 7-8 yr old) waiting to cross the road at Mahim. The father was holding his daughter's hand while crossing the road. As I watched them I was suddenly missing my dad like hell; missing holding his hand.


My father loved to hold hands. My parents romance stories when told by mom had anecdotes of him holding her hand whereever they went in public. This was pretty rare in the 60's when they were dating. Dad was always doing small things like getting a glass of water for mom at a wedding, getting her a plate of food so she didnt have to stand in a queue at a buffet etc. My parents often hugged and kissed so this was never considered odd by us when growing up. We only realized that other parents don't quite behave like them when we started going to friends houses or visited our relatives. I often wondered why my aunts & uncles showed no signs of affection towards one another in their house. My parents were often teased by my aunts & uncles because of this public display of affection.


When we were kids Dad always held our hand to help & guide us. But we still held hands even when we didn't need any guidance any more. He held my brothers hands too when we were growing up; but somewhere along the way the guys stopped holding his hand. For me; it was an automatic gesture to reach out to hold dad's hand whenever we went out. I never gave it much thought. We were often teased by dad's friends who met us when on our walks (me going to the library & dad for his evening walk)


Somehow its the small things that one always misses. Dad has been gone for a few years now. Holding hands is something that I didn't even realize I was missing till this father's day.

- Wrote this post a few days ago but never posted it. Today when I read it I still feel my eyes misting over so I guess no matter how long it is, absense never ceases to make you stop loving.
Cleaned out my drawer today and found pictures of my dog (micky) & tom who are both dead. Memories of both came flooding back while i held their pictures in my hand. I wonder if Pinks & mouse miss him as much as I do. Do they remember that they had a brother?