Transformations

My brother visited us today with his almost 2 year old daughter (my niece). It's her b'day tomorrow when she will turn 2. This was one of the first time that i & mom have had a chance to spend the whole day with my niece.

Watching my brother with his daughter was amazing. Knowing him my whole life this is a completely different & new side of his which was revealed to me today. It made me realize that my brother who was pretty much considered very self absorbed had changed with fatherhood. He was wonderfully patient & loving with his daughter. Taking care of her, feeding her, being firm but loving.

Fatherhood certainly is an awakening for some guys. It is very nice to have a brother who is a completely hands on dad without making a big deal about it. He does everything efficiently and quietly. Its not something unusual; its perfectly natural which was the beautiful part to watch. This was someone who had never changed a nappy in his life expertly changing his daughters while I stood by wondering how does this contraption go on!

As is the way with most relationships, ours has changed too over the last few years. Growing up my brother had always been someone I could depend on to help. I suddenly realized that I would have to stop asking him for favors once he was married & not staying with us anymore. Now I hardly ever saw him & calling him up to do a favor for me seemed like an imposition. I started relying on myself only.

My niece is adorable, she spent the whole day chasing cats (who ran helter skelter avoiding her) Tangy ran behind mom seeking her help to get away from my niece...which was very funny since he for once is older that someone in our house. She ran around the whole house pulling things within her reach. Kept climbing & getting down off the sofa & table. I had to keep my glasses away from her as she kept pulling them off my face....my hair wasnt spared either. It was nice cuddling a tiny human being, i introduced her to flowers & ferns (i hope my love for gardening gene survives me) squirrels and birds around the house.

As a woman I sometimes do wonder what kind of a mother I'd be. How does one cope with some things. Guys wonder too i bet about what kind of fathers are they going to be, do we follow in our parents footsteps or do we etch our own. It is a different world from the one we grew up in with new challenges and new battles. Do we trust our instincts to make the right decision?
I have 3 very different brothers, they are completely unlike each other in their personalities and their character. I have wondered what kind of husbands & fathers they will make. Watching my elder brother I realized that we do follow in our parents footsteps...my dad was a very hands on dad...so is my brother.

Today I realized that at last my brother has become an adult! Its not actually your age or the fact that you are married but the fact that you are responsible completely for another life that brings on that change. I felf proud to watch him today; he is making mistakes, but he is learning. He is not afraid & his priorities in life have changed completely. Now its his daughter who is the apple of his eye! (instead of his bike :D)

Tiny paw marks on my life

Sometimes its the small decisions that somehow end up impacting life the most. Mom & i were discussing how much our cats have brought into our lives. We were reminiscing about the last 8 yrs of our lives.

A few near misses, some tough times, almost losing tangy twice, pinks once, jerry's umpteen injuries...but fighting on to make sure they are around sharing their life with us. It's the small daily joys which somehow make it worth living. For mom i am glad she has the rascals keeping company all day long. They worry about her too, Tangy sleeps next to her legs every afternoon. When she was sick they'd jump on the bed & sit with her from time to time.

I've accepted that Thaku is gone forever. What irks both mom & me is the not knowing. I think we all like the full stops in life. The not knowing somehow means that I can't put that full stop anywhere cause i simply don't know. I hate losing someone i love like that!

Can't believe Mouse & Pinks will be 8 next month. How time flies indeed, remember mouse as a tiny brown kitten...my first cat friend. I hope I pass on this to my kids & my nieces & nephews. It's an amazing feeling to be loved for who you are, no expectations, no confusion, you are not good or bad, you are just you.

I remember hugging my dog on days when I got shouted at by my parents for something bad i'd done & i remember his look saying its ok ...i still love you. A lick on my face always got a smile from me.

We should all have someone like that in our life! And they needn't even be furry with paws. Someone who sits besides you and knows you are glad just to have them there by your side. A look, no words are needed. Someone who knows with one look that something is wrong, by the tone of your voice. Till I find someone human who can sit besides me I think I am glad to have tiny paws and a whiskered face nudging me & saying its ok...i'm here!